The Debut Single.

I’m stressed.

I don’t know if it’s just me and my everchanging mind, but I am freaking out. My debut single, “Stuck in Motion,” comes out tomorrow, July 4th, and I’m freaked.

Let me let you in on a secret, this song has been out into the world before.

You see, ever since I was really little, my dream was to perform. I don’t know why, but the most vulnerable acts in life tend to speak to me. Anyways, there came a point when I voiced this desire and got shut down by someone I deeply cared for. Usually, despite people’s opinions, I would say “f*ck it,” and do it anyways, but I didn’t have the strength weirdly. I, instead, went all-in with my dreams of pursuing film; this, wasn’t until I also balanced my dream of student government in high school. Something shifted and collapsed around that time and all visions felt weak. They were almost ripped apart. It still haunts me. Without getting too detailed, let’s just say I was in a deep state of depression. When college hit, I hadn’t gotten any better, I prayed, and nearly gave up, until I saw MJ: The Musical.

Silly? I’d say fate.

It was spiritual. I immediately was inspired to sing. I’d never sang, well, if you count me singing in the car or shower, then duh. But, I was on Cloud 9. I was reminded of the power, the purpose, the light this field brings.

I decided to pour all these feelings in a simple melody.

You see, the person it’s based off of is an indie motherf*cker. I was like, “let’s make it as indie as we can.” I’m not making fun of the genre, like girl, I was into Rex Orange County. As I was saying, I was devoted to making it in one day. After making the beat on BandLab, I quickly got a random piece of paper, hummed the lyrics, asked my sister if she could leave the dorm room, and boom, that’s how it was born.

I was estatic. I thought this was a number one hit. However, people close to me didn’t. I understood that putting myself out there was going to be tough. Stepping into a field where vulnerability is key seemed almost impossible for me to do at the time. But, when I felt even an inch of insecurity Michael Jackson came to mind.

I posted the video and got maybe five views. Quickly, after people in my life shamed me for it, I gave in. Then months later, it was still in my head. So, I released it, then got twenty views. I was convinced that what people had told me was true, so even though I loved the song, I gave in.

Months past, and I still had the song in my head, so I wrote a letter to God that night asking for a sign. The next day, spontaneously, a friend reached out to hang out. He brought the song up and said he loved it. That was all I needed. I’ve had visions, I’ve had ups and downs, but at that moment in my life, I build the courage to choose me. I was over it. I’m not going to spend another year not putting this out. It keeps coming back to me for a reason. I’ve released things on YouTube, but nothing has spoken to me like this song has.

I love this song. It’s coming. I’m ready to give up on people’s comfortability and ready to choose me.

In the midst of this, I hope that my words remind you that you have one life. Just do it. Believe and you can.